Train Up a Child

My last 11 years of child rearing have been quite a learning experience. The first thing I learned was that they sure have minds of their own! My newfangled psychological ideas quickly went out the window and we went to the right place, the Bible. The only problem was that we mistakenly believed a few pastor/published author types would have a better spin on clear biblical teaching than, well, clear biblical teaching.

We learned a lot from a few wise pastors. My favorite parenting book is Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp. Methods have their place, but we’ve found the loopholes in all the methods. Tripp’s book is probably the least methods-oriented of our collection, but I can still see the cookie cutter forming as the greater context of God’s example to His children in scripture is not applied.

The scriptures are clear: children need consistent, loving discipline. But it is interesting—God’s example to His children is one of extreme patience and a lot of natural consequences. So based on the age of the child in question, we try to balance these two approaches. I am also careful not to be a nag. Obedience is not optional in our house; therefore, I don’t nit-pick. Their lives shouldn’t be a burden, and I don’t want to set them up to fail. Isn’t that the idea of the Ten Commandments? Ten is enough, thank you very much!

My biggest challenge (no doubt due to my compliant, people-pleasing nature) has always been the patience. I literally thought I could produce very well-behaved children without much effort. I had no idea how hard it would be and how loosely I would have to apply the term, well-behaved. Back when I just had two and Pookie was at the height of her toddler rebellion, I said to TM, "I’m so discouraged! Douglas Wilson said that you can make your child stop doing anything if you just discipline them right away every time they do it for three days. That’s what I’ve been trying to do for about 2 years now!" Then my astute husband gave me the best parenting advice I have ever heard. He reminded me that the Bible says in Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." The Bible said OLD! It didn’t say in three days. Now those are some expectations I can live with.

A Word On Corned Beef and Cabbage

Don't!

Discovering Lent

I’ve never considered observing Lent before. I was raised Baptist. For the last several years, TM and I have been moving in a more historical and liturgical direction. I’ve noticed the modern evangelical Church has "thrown the baby out with the bath water" in many respects (i.e. if the Catholics do it, it’s wrong). So we have been looking back at ancient creeds and church practices to see if, in fact, it would behoove us to carry on some of these traditions rather than "reinvent the wheel". This idea is also related to a topic for another day: ecumenism. C.S Lewis so cleverly pointed out in The Screwtape Letters that Satan must be very pleased with the weak, splintered state of the Church today. If only we could be strong and united without sacrificing doctrinal purity!

Back to Lent. I did some reading on the subject and was challenged by what I learned. Lent is the 40-day period leading up to Easter. It is a picture of Christ’s 40-day fast as well as an opportunity to focus more intently on Christ’s amazing work on the cross. This is not dead orthodoxy.

TM and I have decided to give up coffee. This may be a little overly ambitious--ever since my first Frappachino 8 years ago, I’ve been hooked. I was happy to learn, however, that I can still have it on Sundays. Sunday is the Lord’s day; it is always a day of feasting. I will also follow the 1928 Anglican Book of Common Prayer for morning and evening scripture readings. I’ll let you know how it goes.